Pick Me. Choose Me. Love me.

For those of you who watch "Grey's Anatomy," you'll recognize the title from Meredith's second season speech to Derek when he must decide between Meredith and his wife. On this Sunday before the first day of school, I find myself in this situation -- certainly not in my personal life since I am married to my best friend -- but in my professional life. After my short stint as an English teacher at my dream school, I lost my job to budget cuts and union/HR rules. All summer, I'd referred to it as "my school," always hoping that it would be my home until I retired. I allowed myself to believe that some miracle would happen, and I would be back. Alas, it is not to be this school year even though I love my school "in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your bedroom window unfortunate way." I am not dark and twisty. I will be back.

I Should Have Listened to My iPod

As some people know, I landed a temporary teaching job at my dream school this spring. Today was my first formal observation by an administrator. The lesson could not have gone any worse unless a fist fight broke out in my class. I was really trying to be a rock star, but I felt like a big loser. It just did not go well at all. I've been working hard at this job, so I just have to come back from it and learn from my mistakes. I'm still a rock star.

Spring Break Is Here! And almost gone.

I have never appreciated Spring Break more than when I became a working mother. It came just in time this year even though we have only done such exciting tasks as getting haircuts.












And playing outside when it wasn't raining.

















It's been nice to relax, though.

Tomorrow Is Promised to No One

It seems like my life is such a paradox. Yesterday was both the best and worst day I've had in a while. After many months of waiting, I was finally offered a job at a school that is the best in the district. I found my holy grail!

Yesterday was also my mom's first day of chemotherapy. She has stage 4 liver cancer. This being her third battle with cancer, beginning over 15 years ago with breast cancer and continuing two years ago with fallopian tube cancer, my siblings and I have resumed our roles. My brother has always withdrawn and not wanted to talk about it, my sister gets emotional, and I, the youngest child, am the one who tells everyone that no matter what happens everything will be okay. It's true really. We can't stop what is already in motion, and we have to enjoy our lives for what they are rather than for what we want them to be. We aspire to do great things, but we must still find the beauty in everyday life.

Happy New Year 2010!

Here are my boys in South Lake Tahoe on New Year's Day. This is the first time that we have spent New Year's Eve away from home. Someone once told me that you would spend your New Year doing whatever you were doing at midnight. I always lobbied to be home. This year, I realized what is really important is to be with the people I love the most, and a short respite from the everyday is always beneficial. Packing up and heading to Lake Tahoe to be in the snow after Christmas was one of our best decisions we made as a family. I am ready for 2010.